


Never Have I Ever

by mothmanwashere, professionalmomfriend (mothmanwashere)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drinking Games, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Never Have I Ever, can be read as shallura or shattlura or none of the above, everybody loves Hunk, past crushes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:02:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9435194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothmanwashere/pseuds/mothmanwashere, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothmanwashere/pseuds/professionalmomfriend
Summary: “Okay, okay, if we’re playing Never Have I Ever, there’s obviously going to be some of us who drink more than others,” Shiro said diplomatically, while staring straight at Keith, who was pouring his second glass of vodka and orange juice.“I feel singled out,” Keith grumbled, slinking down in his seat with his drink in hand.“So if anyone reaches their limit, there’s no shame in stopping,” Shiro continued.  “Or at least switching to water.”“Laaaame,” Pidge said, topping off their glass of rum with some Coca-Cola.  “We’re big kids, Shiro, you can turn Dad Mode off whenever you’re ready.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is incredibly self-indulgent. It's my birthday, leave me alone.

It started with the traditional, once-monthly squad night.  Lance was hosting this month, and since he knew his cooking could never follow Hunk’s (who hosted last month and made the most incredible four-course meal) he decided to compensate with take-out Chinese food and copious amounts of alcohol.  The drinking game came only after the Chinese food was gone and the alcohol had been well-since cracked into.

“Okay, okay, if we’re playing Never Have I Ever, there’s obviously going to be some of us who drink more than others,” Shiro said diplomatically, while staring straight at Keith, who was pouring his second glass of vodka and orange juice.

“I feel singled out,” Keith grumbled, slinking down in his seat with his drink in hand.

“So if anyone reaches their limit, there’s no shame in stopping,” Shiro continued.  “Or at least switching to water.”

“Laaaame,” Pidge said, topping off their glass of rum with some Coca-Cola.  “We’re big kids, Shiro, you can turn Dad Mode off whenever you’re ready.”

“It’s for the best, Pidge,” Allura said.  “We’d hate to ruin our evening and Lance’s carpet by not knowing our limits.  Pass me the merlot, would you?”

“Fine, can we just get started?” Lance asked as Pidge handed Allura the wine.  “I have a good one.”

“Never have I ever injured myself while flirting with someone I was interested in,” Keith said with a smirk and a pointed look at his boyfriend, cutting in before Lance could take the floor.

“Keith, you fucking suck,” Lance hissed before reaching for his mojito and taking a swig.  To his surprise, Shiro also lifted his glass of whiskey to his mouth, and Lance let out a victory whoop.  “I’m not the only one!”

“Care to share?” Pidge asked Shiro with an evil looking grin.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Shiro said, a warm flush crossing his face.

“It’s a good story,” Matt laughed.

“Come on, Shiro, tell them,” Allura said, nudging him in the ribs.

“Nope.  Not doing that,” Shiro said firmly.

“You guys are weak,” Pidge said with a shake of their head.  “Never have I ever fallen off a roof.”

“Guys, we’re going the wrong way!” Lance complained, leaning around Keith to look at Pidge.

“We’re going clockwise,” Pidge retorted.  “Who’s drinking to mine?” 

Matt was the only one, causing Pidge to snort.

“How did you fall off the roof?” Allura asked, her nose scrunched up in curiosity.

“I was putting up Christmas lights when I was nineteen,” Matt explained casually, stirring his vodka cranberry with a popsicle stick.  “Couldn’t remember where I’d left the ladder.”

“He only fell because he tried to surprise us,” Pidge put in.  “If you’d waited until the sun actually came up, you probably could have _seen_ the ladder.”

“Well, never have I ever started a fist fight,” Matt said, raising his eyebrows pointedly at Pidge, who glared and took a gulp of rum.  Keith and Hunk also picked up their drinks.

“Hunk and I played hockey together in college,” Keith said at the sight of Matt’s curious expression.  “I was the brawler of the team, but Big Cat over here can more than hold his own.”

Hunk leaned forward to set down his vodka and sprite and bump his knuckles against Keith’s.

“Let’s see,” Shiro said.  “Never have I ever set off the fire alarm while cooking.”

Keith let out a growl as he, Hunk, Allura, and Matt each took a drink.  Allura made a disgusted face which Lance caught on Snapchat, much to her chagrin.

“Okay, my turn!” Allura said, her disgusted expression quickly turning to delight once she realized they were finished with Shiro’s and it was her turn now.  “Never have I ever had an emo phase.”

Keith, Shiro, and Pidge picked up their drinks in unison.  Hunk cleared his throat. 

“What?”

“Lance.”

“I didn’t have an emo phase!” Lance squeaked defensively.

“Do I need to call your sister and have her text me the pictures?” Hunk asked.

Lance turned a furious red as Pidge and Keith snickered, but he took a drink anyway.  “Happy?”

Hunk smiled innocently.  “Just keepin’ it honest.  And I guess it’s my turn, so… never have I ever argued with an employee at a store.”

Matt, Pidge, and Allura each took a reluctant drink.

“In my defense, it was with a member of Geek Squad who tried to tell me the warranty was worth it, when I had just told him I was going to tear it apart for my AI,” Pidge said, licking a drop of rum off the rim of their glass.  “I told him I know more than him.”

“My turn!” Lance exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air victoriously.  “Never have I ever made out with a stranger.”

Keith and Matt picked up their drinks silently.

“Okay, everyone knew I’d be tossing these back like candy,” Keith said as they drank and sat their glasses back on the coffee table.  “But Matt’s turning out to be the real wild card here.”

“It’s always the quiet ones,” Lance said, to which Pidge responded with a snort.

“Quiet and stupid are two different things,” Pidge said.  “No offense, bro.”

“Offense taken?”

“We’re gonna need some context though,” Lance said.

“You just want the DL on why your boyfriend kissed a stranger,” Pidge said, sticking their tongue out.

“Your words, not mine,” Lance said, sitting back and slinging an arm around Keith.

“The usual, you know,” Keith said, waving a hand flippantly through the air.  “Bar hookups, keg parties, and that one time on an away hockey game.”

“Oh shit, I forgot about that time,” Hunk said, his eyes going wide.  He quickly took a sip of his drink to correct his stance.

“Hunk, you dog!” Lance said, turning to high five his friend.

“I don’t get a high five?” Keith asked.

“I’m too jealous of all these random strangers who have apparently kissed you before me,” Lance said, nudging his shoulder against Keith’s.

“If it’s any consolation, I’d much rather kiss you than a stranger,” Keith said, leaning over to peck his boyfriend on the lips.

“Aww, babe,” Lance said, grinning wildly.

“Get a room!” Pidge yelled.

“Is your story good, Matt?” Hunk asked.

“Not really,” Matt said.  “A girl at my school was dared to kiss me in the cafeteria.”

“That’s terrible!” Allura said, reaching across Shiro to put her hand on Matt’s knee.  “That sounds horribly embarrassing.”

Matt shook his head.  “They laughed, but I didn’t care much.  I was thirty-six hours into researching my Master’s thesis and I was entirely convinced she was a hallucination brought on by my twelfth Redbull.”

“Where did you guys think I got it?” Pidge asked when most of the group shot a pointed look their way.

“My turn?” Keith asked.  He was met with nods from around the room.  “Never have I ever gone skinny dipping.”

Keith was met with the sight of every person in the room upending their glass into their mouth.

“Jesus Christ,” he chuckled.  “And you call me the law-breaking hooligan.”

“I haven’t actually been skinny-dipping,” Pidge said.  “I’m just not drunk enough to deal with the memory of when Matt did.  Anyway, never have I ever done a body shot.”

“Like, never done a body shot off of someone, or had someone do one off of you?” Lance asked.

“I hate that you need the specification,” Pidge said, pinching the bridge of their nose, causing their glasses to slide up.  “The answer is both.  Or is it either?  Yes.”

Lance, Keith, and Allura all drank.

“Not gonna lie, I was kind of expecting Shiro to shoot on that one,” Pidge said.

Shiro shrugged.  “I’ve done a lot of things, but never that.”

“You should try it,” Allura said, nudging him with her elbow and a saucy grin. 

Shiro turned a mottled shade of red before clearing his throat.  “Matt, your turn.”

“Never have I ever been in handcuffs,” Matt said.

Keith finished his drink faster than anyone could blink, with Pidge, Lance, and Shiro only a moment behind.

“We need stories here,” Hunk demanded.  “Shiro.”

“It was quite a fun evening,” Allura said, sharing a grin with Matt over Shiro’s flushed expression.

“Yikes,” Pidge said, scrunching up their face.

“Lance?”

“Not to assume, but – same?”

“Goddamnit,” Pidge growled.  “Can I have another drink, please?”

“Just tell us yours,” Matt said, taking the rum away from Pidge before they could drink straight from the bottle.  Shiro handed them an unopened bottle of water.

“Got caught sneaking onto government property,” Pidge said easily, unscrewing the cap.

“Why were you on government property?” Allura asked.

Pidge stared at her evenly.  “Because I needed answers, Allura.  Answers.”

“Keith?” Matt asked, interrupting Pidge’s stare-down of Allura.

“Arrested twice,” Shiro supplied.

“Three times,” Keith corrected as he poured more vodka over the remaining ice in his glass.

“What?”

“I have a better story, though,” Keith said, ignoring Shiro’s semi-distressed look.  “Unless you’d rather, Lance.”

“I definitely don’t need to hear a sex story,” Hunk said.

“Seconded,” Pidge said quickly.

“It’s not graphic,” Keith said, rolling his eyes.  “Lance was trying to ‘spice things up’ and he wound up locking us both together and dropping the key down the vent.”

Pidge brought their hand up to keep from snorting water across the table.  “Oh my fucking god, Lance.”

“Language,” Shiro reprimanded, to which Pidge responded by sticking out their tongue and stealing the rum back from their brother to pour another glass.  “Never have I ever driven a stick shift.”

Allura, Pidge, and Hunk all drank.

“Okay, I know Allura’s car has a manual transmission, but…” Shiro trailed off, looking between Pidge and Hunk.

“My grandpa’s pickup is stick,” Hunk explained.  “He hated driving, but when his joints got too bad, he couldn’t walk around the island anymore, so he made his grandkids shuttle him around.”

“Pidge?”

“Allura’s car is manual,” Pidge said simply.

“You’ve never driven my car,” Allura said, scrunching her nose in confusion.

“Not to your knowledge,” Pidge said calmly.

“Pidge!”

Pidge burst into giggles.  “I’m kidding.  My dad took me out in his really old car once when I was, like, thirteen, and taught me to drive stick.”

“He did?!” Matt asked incredulously.

“I was sworn to secrecy, mostly because Mom would have flipped.”

“My turn!” Allura hummed.  “Never have I ever flashed a bartender for a free drink.”

Lance was the only one to drink, met by the sound of raucous laughter from Keith and Pidge.  “Listen, it was fucking Spring Break and I was a poor, lightweight freshman,” Lance defended.  “Most of the week is an alcoholic blur.”

“Your turn, Hunk,” Allura said sweetly.

“Oh, cool.  Um, never have I ever told someone I had a crush on them to their face.”

Lance was, again, the only one to drink.

“Haha Lance,” Pidge snorted.  “Remind us how long it took you to tell Keith you liked him?”

“I asked him out, actually,” Keith said, looking at Lance with a bit of confusion.  “Lance never really _said_ he’d had a crush on me.  Though it was pretty fucking obvious.”

“Then who did you have a crush on that you _did_ tell?” Matt asked.

“Hunk,” Lance said casually, and Hunk choked on air.

“Hunk what now?!”

Lance furrowed his brows, turning to the man beside him.  “Dude.”

“Dude.”

“ _Dude_.”

“Please elaborate,” Shiro said.  “I think we’re all a little lost, and not just because we’re all at least a little tipsy.”

“Hunk, you don’t remember?!”

“Remember what?!”

“Oh my _god_ ,” Lance groaned, rubbing his hand across his face.  “That time in Junior year when I got blasted with my college buddies and drunk-texted you?  You don’t remember that?”

“I remember the occasion, but I don’t remember you _telling me you liked me?!”_

“I literally asked if I could kiss you!”

“I thought you were drunk!”

“I WAS!!”

With each exchange, Lance and Hunk got louder, until Lance was on his feet and jumping up onto the coffee table like the added height would somehow enforce his point.

“You never told me you liked me!” Hunk exclaimed.  He wasn’t shouting like Lance, but his incredulity was pretty plain.

“Well I did like you!” Lance yelled.

“Well I liked you back!” Hunk responded, and then the room fell deathly silent.  Hunk’s eyes immediately flew to Keith before looking back toward Lance and letting apologies roll off his tongue.  “I mean, I did.  At the time.  For like two years I had a huge crush on you, and I just never imagined you’d like me back so I really just assumed you were drunk.”

“Oh my god,” Lance said, his voice much, much softer than moments ago.  “Oh my _god_.”  And with that, Lance burst into laughter, stepping off the coffee table to lean into Hunk and hug him.  His laughter was contagious enough to spread to Hunk, despite his slight embarrassment.  “We’re so stupid, dude,” Lance said when he could breathe again.  “I’m glad we didn’t fuck up our friendship, but holy _shit_ , we are dense.”

“Me too,” Hunk agreed as Lance peeled himself off of Hunk to sit back down beside him.  “I promise I’m not gonna try to steal your boyfriend or anything, Keith,” Hunk said, scratching his neck self-consciously.

“No worries,” Keith said with a grin.  “I had a crush on you too, for a while.”

“WHAT?” Hunk squeaked, eliciting laughter from the rest of the group.

Keith shrugged.  “When we first met, my only thought was that I’d totally hit that.”

“Keith you can’t say things like that,” Hunk groaned, hiding his face in his eyes. 

Lance high-fived Keith.

“Well in light of those stunning revelations,” Matt said.  “Never have I ever had a crush on Hunk?”

Lance and Keith clinked their glasses together before downing them.  Pidge scrunched up their nose.  “Does a squish count?”

Matt shrugged.  “Sure.”

Pidge took a deep drink from their glass.

“Well if that counts, I suppose…” Allura looked at Shiro before they both drank, too.

“Well now I feel I’ve missed out on some rite of passage,” Matt said on a laugh, grinning at Hunk.

“I can’t deal with any of you,” Hunk grumbled, his face bright red.

“We love you, big guy,” Pidge said, wrapping their short arms as far around Hunk’s body as they could reach.

“I love you guys too, but can we _please_ change the subject now?”

“All right, who’s turn is it?” Allura laughed, effectively turning them all back to the game at hand.

After a couple more rounds, no one’s head was on straight enough to think of any good questions, so Shiro made sure everyone had a bottle of water as Lance turned on a movie.  They passed the rest of the night only half paying attention to the movie, mostly caught up in silly conversation and laughing at Lance’s loud commentary that Heath Ledger’s character in this movie was literally Keith.

“Yeah, no, I totally see it!” Hunk agreed.  “If Keith’s hair was curlier and Lance was a total shrew, this movie would be about you two.”

“Hey!”

Pidge cackled.  “He’s right.  Or maybe Keith should be Kat instead.”

“Does that make Shiro Dr. Stratford?” Hunk asked, scrunching up his nose.

“Don’t drag me into this,” Shiro said.

“It totally does,” Allura said with a giggle.

Shiro cast a shocked look at Allura.  “That’s it.  I’m sitting by Matt, now,” he said, pushing Allura’s legs off of where they rested across his lap and scooting over a few inches on the couch.  Matt had fallen asleep barely ten minutes into the movie, and did nothing more than let out a snore when Shiro shifted.

“Don’t be angry, Shiro,” Allura said with a grin.  “It’s all in good fun.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and slid back toward Allura.  “Fine, but you’re on thin ice.”

They settled down a little after that, fatigue from the late hour and the alcohol combining to slow them down from their usual fast-paced conversation.  As the movie wound to a close, Lance surveyed the way Allura had swung her feet back up to rest across Shiro’s legs; how Pidge had twisted in their seat to curl up against Hunk’s side, and how Keith’s legs were entwined with his own with his head resting on Lance’s shoulder.  “Love you guys,” Lance mumbled, burying his nose into the soft, black mop Keith called hair.

“Love you too, Lance,” Pidge murmured, their half-lidded eyes trained on the credits beginning to roll.  “Who’s hosting next month? Who hosted last month?”

“Hunk hosted last time,” Allura offered.

“If we do my place, we’re ordering pizza and playing Twister,” Pidge said.

“We can decide later,” Shiro said.

Keith nuzzled his nose against Lance’s collarbone and let out a soft snore.

“I think Keith’s asleep,” Lance said, loud enough to be heard but not so loud as to wake Keith.  “I’m gonna put him to bed.  There are blankets in that corner over there, and you guys can fight over the futon in the spare room.”  He rose to his feet before carefully drawing his boyfriend up by the arms.  Keith, mostly still asleep, followed easily enough, but Lance held tight to keep him from falling.

“’M good right here,” Pidge said, pressing their cheek against Hunk’s soft middle.

“We’re fine, Lance,” Shiro said with a smile.  “See you in the morning.”

“I’ll make pancakes,” Hunk offered, following the words with a massive yawn.  “Sleep tight.”

“Night guys.”

* * *

 

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, the birth of this oneshot started with me texting my best friend:
> 
> Me: Can I write a oneshot loosely based on the time you were drunk and I was oblivious and we didn't figure out our mutual crushing until years later  
> D: uh yes  
> D: please do  
> Me: sweet  
> D: We are literally the "wait, did you just flirt with me?" "Have been for three years but thanks for noticing"  
> Me: yikes
> 
> thanks buddy


End file.
